sobota, júna 11, 2011

Layne Staley

If I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead

"Core" poem by Layne Staley
Self imprisonment
I suppose somewhere inside me
I yearn for freedom from
That which holds me stagnant
Over exaggeration
turns underestimated emotion...
Emotion. Why the urging to hide and
slow the flow of that which could,
And perhaps will, improve and
heal the burning side of me?
I am protecting my pain
And it's mine
And I so badly want to keep my
Pain to myself
But, in doing so, I am hurting
So many who cross me, or care for me
Aching for love and acceptance
Only to throw you down in the latter
Of your shared love
Yet anger and guilt not shared
Between me and you
Your are blamed for all
that is a mystery whithin myself
Oh, I pray that I might someday
Throw a blanket over that angry child
If the strength is found within the
Core of my being
His tears soak my heart and
Weigh it down
I am drowning, and I am tired
And so very, very lonely
I am

Toto mal byť pôvodne Layneov životopis. Zistila som však, že Layne je pre mňa tak citlivá záležitosť, že jeho životopis musí byť fakt dokonale spracovaný ak ho mám písať ja. A myslím si, že som ešte nedozrela do toho aby som o ňom dokázala vytvoriť niečo čo by si zaslúžil a dostatočne by som si ho tým uctila. Preto si nechám čas dozrievať a zatiaľ sem dám zopár jeho fotiek a úryvkov textov, čím ho tak trochu nechám aby o sebe niečo povedal sám. A možno sa pár ľudí, ktorí by mohli zablúdiť na môj blog, inšpiruje v objavovaní úžasnej hudby kapely Alice in chains.....enjoy...

Love, sex, pain, confusion, suffering
You're there crying, I feel not a thing
Drilling my way deeper in your head
Sinking, draining, drowning, bleeding, dead
So you sit and think of love
I wait, hate all the more, I fall
On skinned knees I crawl

Chosen on the floor, take another drag
Bought a bunch of valiums from skinny broadway bag
I don't know much about heroin but I, I wanna try
Just about everything once before I die

Seems so sick to the hypocrite norm
Running their boring drills
But we are an elite race of our own
The stoners, junkies, and freaks

You can't understand a user's mind
But try, with your books and degrees
If you let yourself go and opened your mind
I'll bet you'd be doing like me
And it ain't so bad

I drink too much, I smoke too much
I'm a human waste
I buy a lot of cheap alcohol
But I'll tell ya honey, I really hate the taste
I dressed in drag, they call me a fag
But boy, I really don't care
Cause last night I met your girlfriend, sucker
And I hope ya like to share, cause she did

How is it you're feeling so uneasy?
How is it that I feel fine?
Life reveals what is dealt through seasons
Circle comes around each time
I've been blessed with eyes to see this
Behind the unwhole truth you hide
Bite to remind the bitten, bigger
Mouth repaying tenfold wide

I'm above
Over you I'm standing above
Claiming unconditional love

You told me I'm the only one
Sweet little angel you should have run
Lying, crying, dying to leave
Innocence creates my hell

Still you leave me rotting on this rock all alone
It's my fault for knowing not what I should have known
My heart is tired of beating slow
It's been depleating since you died

Tak a na záver prikladám fotku toho ako si Layna pripomínam každý deň ja a dva veľmi podstatné citáty:

"I wrote about drugs, and I didn't think I was being unsafe or careless by writing about them. I didn't want fans to think heroin was cool. But then I've had fans come up to me and give me the thumbs up, telling me they're high. That's exactly what I didn't want to happen."

"People have a right to ask questions and dig deep when you're hurting people and things around you, but when I haven't talked to anybody in years, and every article I see is dope this, junkie that, whiskey this -that ain't my title....My bad habits aren't my title. My strengths and my talent are my title."
Layne Thomas Staley *22. 8. 1967 †5. 4. 2002

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